Hey Monkeys! What's up? Sorry I lag on getting fresh goods up on here for you to peel and listen to, but that's what happens sometimes. In deference to all one of you that still reads this, I will put up THREE different pieces of music today that you will really lurve (or at least like, or maybe just listen to for 20 seconds and delete.)
Numero Uno is the first song I have ever really loved that could be considered true "8-bit" noise. While a big fan of electronic music, I have tended to fling my poop at things that sound too much like a Nintendo video game. There is something vaguely annoying about random bloops and beeps put around some cheesy and often monotonous computerized beats. It makes me want to say, "Look you stoner, that was probably sounded great to you on your computer at 3am in your dorm room freshman year, but to actually record and release an entire song of that shit? Bitch Please!" So I was pretty excited when I heard Matt & Kim. They are trendy little hipster kids from over in Brooklyn, and their live show has a reputation as a sweaty dancefest of the highest variety. Go download their lovely little tune called "Yea Yeah". It starts out pure Nintendo, you might as well be on level 3 in Commando for all the simplicity of the tune. But there's another level added - actual vocal harmonies! It's got a catchy little singalong that ain't original, but fun. A good summer time tune, something you could put on at a BBQ and people would sing along and shuffle around in their flip flops and get drunker more quickly than they would have otherwise.
Hot Chip came out with a new one, I believe it will be on the new DJ Kicks series that they produced. That album comes out today in fact. The tune is called "My Piano". Maybe it's just me, but I really loved the 2004/2005 Hot Chip stuff compared with this offering and most of The Warning. "Shiny Escalade" is still my favorite...I think because it does tempo shift in such an interesting and original way. This is also why "Over and Over" is such a standout from the LP and such a burner live for them. Don't get me wrong, the Chip is still top banana in terms of making me dance and scream and shout. "My Piano" is a perfectly acceptable expression of their art. I just want to get back that feeling I had all those many months ago when I first heard them and thought world peace was just around the corner (or whatever will happen when the perfect pop song is heard by all nations and we put down our guns and everyone goes to McDonalds for a McFlurry together).
Last but not least, I have a mystery song I need to share. I downloaded it back in April, but never played it. I finally got around to listening to it last week, and I love it! However, this is quite a kerfuffle, as I:
A) have no idea who it is by
B) have no idea what website I grabbed it from
I have checked through the archives of my usual suspects, and can't seem to find it anywhere. Maybe someday I'll know when I hear it burning up the dance floor in a club and can go ask the DJ. You can download it here, my song of the day, "SS". A sweeeeet arse electro gem that I only wish I could name!
Monday, May 21, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Grooves, Air, and Fire
It's been a momentous week at Monkey HQ. Two concerts (Arcade Fire at Radio City Music Hall, then Air at MSG Theatre), a Mets game tonight for Tardyboy's birthday, and we purchased the new Groove Armada album. Somehow I managed to go to work every day too. I know, I am so proud of my diligence - actually going to work with all that fun stuff!
Arcade Fire on Wednesday was good, not great. Our tickets were in the second to last row of the entire auditorium, so it was not going to be the best show I've ever seen. Adding to the misery, the guy in front of me INSISTED on standing the entire show. We are sitting in the third balcony my man, why don't we stand for maybe "No Cars Go" and perhaps "Rebellion" and call it a day? Despite the environmental challenges, the band still rocked the f*ck out. There were some magical moments when all 3,000 fans in attendance were chanting along with the band. And even though they've been touring non-stop for about three months now, the band brought serious energy to every single tune. If David Bowie selects you to open up his personal concert series at Radio City Music Hall, and then sits in the front row, you get pumped up I guess. It would definitely make me want to take it up a notch. And they did. I would give Arcade Fire a hearty 7 bananas out of 10 on the Chimp-meter.
Air on Thursday night was much better. We had floor tickets and were able to sneak into some seats in the second row, right behind the small floor section. Great place to watch the light show (which was trip-tastic). The sound at the MSG Theatre was amazing, you could hear every small nuance from the guitars to the crazy synths they employ, and the volume was not too loud. You could actually talk to the person next to you without yelling. I cannot say enough about Air to fully praise them to the extent they deserve. The word we kept on coming back to when we were talking about the show was "precise". It's a feat of immeasurable difficulty to get the level of production quality they have on their albums into a live show, and they did it. They covered the hits: Sexy Boy, Kelly Watch the Stars, and a kickass ten minute jam of La Femme d'Argent to finish the encore. The encore left me breathless, those boys have clearly listened to some Pink Floyd and know how take it up to a new level when they want to get the crowd up and going. There was a well deserved standing ovation and alot of smiling faces. They also played a few of the new tunes, disappointingly skipping Hell of a Party. I guess if you don't have Jarvis Cocker on tour with you, that song doesn't make the setlist. Oh well, this show still scored a rock solid 9 out of 10 bananas on the Chimp-meter.
Last but not least, I downloaded the new Groove Armada album, Soundboy Rock. It is fantastic!!! Triple Exclamation Points!!! I am sharing the best song with you, go download Lightsonic. Much like Air, I would say Groove Armada has a formula and they stick to it. Some critics give negative points when a group doesn't constantly "evolve" from album to album. I am the type of music fan that is perfectly content when a new album feels like an extension of the previous work. Soundboy Rock is definitely that - some of the same guest musicians as Love Box, a very similar dub/garage feel, and of course a full helping of the tasty G.A. hooks that get you dancing in your chair.
Enjoy the weekend.
Arcade Fire on Wednesday was good, not great. Our tickets were in the second to last row of the entire auditorium, so it was not going to be the best show I've ever seen. Adding to the misery, the guy in front of me INSISTED on standing the entire show. We are sitting in the third balcony my man, why don't we stand for maybe "No Cars Go" and perhaps "Rebellion" and call it a day? Despite the environmental challenges, the band still rocked the f*ck out. There were some magical moments when all 3,000 fans in attendance were chanting along with the band. And even though they've been touring non-stop for about three months now, the band brought serious energy to every single tune. If David Bowie selects you to open up his personal concert series at Radio City Music Hall, and then sits in the front row, you get pumped up I guess. It would definitely make me want to take it up a notch. And they did. I would give Arcade Fire a hearty 7 bananas out of 10 on the Chimp-meter.
Air on Thursday night was much better. We had floor tickets and were able to sneak into some seats in the second row, right behind the small floor section. Great place to watch the light show (which was trip-tastic). The sound at the MSG Theatre was amazing, you could hear every small nuance from the guitars to the crazy synths they employ, and the volume was not too loud. You could actually talk to the person next to you without yelling. I cannot say enough about Air to fully praise them to the extent they deserve. The word we kept on coming back to when we were talking about the show was "precise". It's a feat of immeasurable difficulty to get the level of production quality they have on their albums into a live show, and they did it. They covered the hits: Sexy Boy, Kelly Watch the Stars, and a kickass ten minute jam of La Femme d'Argent to finish the encore. The encore left me breathless, those boys have clearly listened to some Pink Floyd and know how take it up to a new level when they want to get the crowd up and going. There was a well deserved standing ovation and alot of smiling faces. They also played a few of the new tunes, disappointingly skipping Hell of a Party. I guess if you don't have Jarvis Cocker on tour with you, that song doesn't make the setlist. Oh well, this show still scored a rock solid 9 out of 10 bananas on the Chimp-meter.
Last but not least, I downloaded the new Groove Armada album, Soundboy Rock. It is fantastic!!! Triple Exclamation Points!!! I am sharing the best song with you, go download Lightsonic. Much like Air, I would say Groove Armada has a formula and they stick to it. Some critics give negative points when a group doesn't constantly "evolve" from album to album. I am the type of music fan that is perfectly content when a new album feels like an extension of the previous work. Soundboy Rock is definitely that - some of the same guest musicians as Love Box, a very similar dub/garage feel, and of course a full helping of the tasty G.A. hooks that get you dancing in your chair.
Enjoy the weekend.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Music Reviews on the Uptick
I am not so sure Chimpy is creative enough to post humorous ramblings on this blog more than every now and then. In an effort to be more healthy, we will be leading a less interesting life the next few months...more movie watching, less visiting-bathrooms-in-a-bar time, if you get my drift.
If being boring and sober could mean anything positive to Chimpsonadavenport, it would be the fact that Chimpy is listening to lots and lots of new music. For those of you who don't want to canvas the blogosphere, I would like to think we here at Chimp Central can separate the peel from the banana. We'd like to share only the soft, tasty good stuff with our fair readers. Today's theme is Noise Rock. Let's share some of the tastier tracks now, shall we?
Parts & Labor are a noisy funk-punk trio from Brooklyn. Go get the song Fractured Skies. This is one of those songs and bands where the first 30 seconds is the WORST part of the song. It's all grating rhythm section with some droning keyboards and synths cut up in the background. I almost deleted it the first listen just a minute into the song - I have little patience, I want my music to be good from start to finish. Patience paid off here though, finally you get to some vocals and it becomes tolerable. Then all of a sudden: harmonies! walls of sound! Was that even some horns? Oh my! Yes Billy, there is a tooth fairy, and under your pillow she's left some progressive noise rock. Check it out.
Bringing the noise in a different way are another New York based band, Palomar. With obvious nods to the Pixies, the Breeders, and even the Cranberries, the star track to download is called "Woah!" It seems that every other band these days is co-ed. Dudes don't wanna rock out with just other dudes when they can hook up with someone in their band after band practice. And it's not cool at all anymore to be in a chick band (come on, who really liked the Donna's anyways?). So we get Arcade Fire, Yeah Yeah Yeah's, the Knife, Architecture in Helsinki, Broken Social Scene, etc. But you can't argue with the masses - they want high pitched vocals backed by simple chords on shredding guitars, rich bass lines, and adrenaline inducing drums. Give 'em what they want Chimpy, give 'em some Palomar!
If being boring and sober could mean anything positive to Chimpsonadavenport, it would be the fact that Chimpy is listening to lots and lots of new music. For those of you who don't want to canvas the blogosphere, I would like to think we here at Chimp Central can separate the peel from the banana. We'd like to share only the soft, tasty good stuff with our fair readers. Today's theme is Noise Rock. Let's share some of the tastier tracks now, shall we?
Parts & Labor are a noisy funk-punk trio from Brooklyn. Go get the song Fractured Skies. This is one of those songs and bands where the first 30 seconds is the WORST part of the song. It's all grating rhythm section with some droning keyboards and synths cut up in the background. I almost deleted it the first listen just a minute into the song - I have little patience, I want my music to be good from start to finish. Patience paid off here though, finally you get to some vocals and it becomes tolerable. Then all of a sudden: harmonies! walls of sound! Was that even some horns? Oh my! Yes Billy, there is a tooth fairy, and under your pillow she's left some progressive noise rock. Check it out.
Bringing the noise in a different way are another New York based band, Palomar. With obvious nods to the Pixies, the Breeders, and even the Cranberries, the star track to download is called "Woah!" It seems that every other band these days is co-ed. Dudes don't wanna rock out with just other dudes when they can hook up with someone in their band after band practice. And it's not cool at all anymore to be in a chick band (come on, who really liked the Donna's anyways?). So we get Arcade Fire, Yeah Yeah Yeah's, the Knife, Architecture in Helsinki, Broken Social Scene, etc. But you can't argue with the masses - they want high pitched vocals backed by simple chords on shredding guitars, rich bass lines, and adrenaline inducing drums. Give 'em what they want Chimpy, give 'em some Palomar!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
VNV Nation
HI everyone...oh, it's just you Wife of Chimpy. Well Hello there.
So this lovely website thing just wiped out my post from today, which was utterly brilliant and most likely would have gotten me a deal to write the next Sofia Coppola screenplay. Oh well. Since I am feeling lazy (Chimpy needs a nap), I am going to post my song riiiiiiight HERE, it's by VNV Nation. I hope you like it.
So this lovely website thing just wiped out my post from today, which was utterly brilliant and most likely would have gotten me a deal to write the next Sofia Coppola screenplay. Oh well. Since I am feeling lazy (Chimpy needs a nap), I am going to post my song riiiiiiight HERE, it's by VNV Nation. I hope you like it.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Pale and Shaky
Sunday is the Lord's day. It is supposed to be for resting. It is not supposed to be for getting so drunk you wet the bed.
That is all.
That is all.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
One more song today
We are rocking out so hard in the Monkey Cage today, I just have to share. Maybe every Wednesday will see multiple music posts. It seems like there's a huge amount of good, new music, why the F not? I wanna rock! ROCK! I wannnnt tooooooo rock, ROCK!
The bonus humpday ditty is called "The Funeral", by Band of Horses. For music-heads, this band is old news. They are like sooooo last year. OMG, I can't believe Monkeyboy didn't see and do this band when the cool kids did! Fair enough, but for some of us, the first time we heard Band of Horses we said "myyyeahhhhhhh". Say it out loud the way it's spelled, it was my honest opinion on B.O.H. Just another shoegazey indie jamband making slow songs about being sad. I know, that has it's place in the pantheon of modern music, but I still want my sad stuff to have a bit of balls or spice to it. But then this morning Mr. iTunes was doing his business, playing my songs in order of "Date Added" (my preferred method of cube-rocking). And lo and behold, this song gently flicked my earlobe and said "dude, I think you're into this. You really like this tune alot. Play me again, ok pal?" And I played it over and over, and I do indeed love the song.
If the lead singer of Flaming Lips, Wayne Coyle, is secretly in another band, it would have to be Band of Horses. Ben Bridwell croons a specific tone somewhere between falsetto-whiney and painstakingly heartfelt. It's a vocal style that puts him in good company in terms of long term success. Last I checked, Flaming Lips were headlining the mainstage at Coachella, have legions of nutty fans, and encourage costumed animals to frolic onstage. All plusses if you want to make it big. However, perhaps paying deference to their Seattle background, Band of Horses seems like they're on downers or opiates. They don't do uplifting. At all. They want the girl to stay the night, and she won't. They use the words OFF and OVER alot. As the song I've given you today states, "at every occasion I'll be ready for the funeral." I respect the guys for singing it the way they feel it - that's what indie music is about. But in my role as twitchy primate/future reader, I see lots of thirty somethings swaying to the Horses in small clubs for the next decade, and not a single mention in Blender. I am sure the band will be tickled if that's how it plays out for them. Good luck lads.
The bonus humpday ditty is called "The Funeral", by Band of Horses. For music-heads, this band is old news. They are like sooooo last year. OMG, I can't believe Monkeyboy didn't see and do this band when the cool kids did! Fair enough, but for some of us, the first time we heard Band of Horses we said "myyyeahhhhhhh". Say it out loud the way it's spelled, it was my honest opinion on B.O.H. Just another shoegazey indie jamband making slow songs about being sad. I know, that has it's place in the pantheon of modern music, but I still want my sad stuff to have a bit of balls or spice to it. But then this morning Mr. iTunes was doing his business, playing my songs in order of "Date Added" (my preferred method of cube-rocking). And lo and behold, this song gently flicked my earlobe and said "dude, I think you're into this. You really like this tune alot. Play me again, ok pal?" And I played it over and over, and I do indeed love the song.
If the lead singer of Flaming Lips, Wayne Coyle, is secretly in another band, it would have to be Band of Horses. Ben Bridwell croons a specific tone somewhere between falsetto-whiney and painstakingly heartfelt. It's a vocal style that puts him in good company in terms of long term success. Last I checked, Flaming Lips were headlining the mainstage at Coachella, have legions of nutty fans, and encourage costumed animals to frolic onstage. All plusses if you want to make it big. However, perhaps paying deference to their Seattle background, Band of Horses seems like they're on downers or opiates. They don't do uplifting. At all. They want the girl to stay the night, and she won't. They use the words OFF and OVER alot. As the song I've given you today states, "at every occasion I'll be ready for the funeral." I respect the guys for singing it the way they feel it - that's what indie music is about. But in my role as twitchy primate/future reader, I see lots of thirty somethings swaying to the Horses in small clubs for the next decade, and not a single mention in Blender. I am sure the band will be tickled if that's how it plays out for them. Good luck lads.
Victim Number One
Wow, week one in the blog world and I am already setting 'em up and putting them down. I’ve given the Blogmaster his comeuppance. Who is Blogmaster? Well I’ve already dropped his name in the first post ever, so it should be easy to figure out. He has about 200,000 readers, he was in People magazine, he generally is a d-list blog celebrity in this here village we call Manhattan.
This puts me in a tricky spot. While Chimpy enjoys mocking people, it becomes a different story altogether when the mocked find out about it. There, now you know what I’m talking about. While Blogmaster protects the innocent by changing everybody’s name…he doesn’t change mine?!?! Strange. Of course in sharing his, ummm "reputation" with others I've given him fodder that will probably be one of the funnier posts he writes this year. Blogs warp the rules of life I guess; normally a guy would want to punch me out for sharing stories of his bedroom (in)abilities. In this case, I think he owes me a beer. Odd.
I think this little episode bodes well for the old blog. Bring the Noise!
So the main theme on Wednesdays at chimponadavenport shall be music. I will dissect whether an emerging band has what it takes to break it big. You know - get into Spin, have teenage kids start listing them as an interest on Myspace, that type of "breaking it big". Here's how we'll work it. I'll give you a link to a great song by a band you may/may not have heard from yet. Go get the song if you know how to do that, and download it. Play it. Listen intently. Then I want you to critique the tune on a 6 point scale for lyrics, melody, composition, originality, and overall point of view. One for hate, six for love. Half points are allowed in the overall category. And then I want you to free associate 5-10 words of what the song makes you think of, just off the top of your head. Then come read the rest of this.
JUST KIDDING! While the above exercise is something my friend the The Chauffeur likes to do while killing work hours, I just want you to listen to something cool and different. This week, the Monkey Cage (my cube at work) is still stuck on one of last year's indie darlings. Asobi Seksu. Go check out their song Thursday. It's a beauty. I can't get over how the song is composed with constant tension between the pleading voice of the singer and the ever building tempo of the guitar/bass line. Just when you expect a release into pop bliss at the end of the chorus, they break into silent pause. Tension reestablished. It's fairly simple, accessible pop-rock with a touch of that "wall of noise" towards the end that makes me think they doth know exactly what they're doing. And it never hurts to listen to a half-japanese chick sing all high pitched and sexy.
I'm not sure if Asobi Seksu has what it takes to break out of the blogosphere and slay the mainstream. It doesn't have much appeal to most dudes - I know what that says about me, we all know Chimpy is 49% gay, OKKKKKK? - and I think it's only going to appeal to people old enough to remember Belinda Carlisle and other rockin' 80's chickpop. I really hope they don't go the route other NYC bands have gone...get Rick Ocasek to produce your next album and try to dull yourself onto the radio waves. No offense Mr. Ocasek, but you were truly on your game when Mutt Lange was producing you. But that's for another day and another post...
This puts me in a tricky spot. While Chimpy enjoys mocking people, it becomes a different story altogether when the mocked find out about it. There, now you know what I’m talking about. While Blogmaster protects the innocent by changing everybody’s name…he doesn’t change mine?!?! Strange. Of course in sharing his, ummm "reputation" with others I've given him fodder that will probably be one of the funnier posts he writes this year. Blogs warp the rules of life I guess; normally a guy would want to punch me out for sharing stories of his bedroom (in)abilities. In this case, I think he owes me a beer. Odd.
I think this little episode bodes well for the old blog. Bring the Noise!
So the main theme on Wednesdays at chimponadavenport shall be music. I will dissect whether an emerging band has what it takes to break it big. You know - get into Spin, have teenage kids start listing them as an interest on Myspace, that type of "breaking it big". Here's how we'll work it. I'll give you a link to a great song by a band you may/may not have heard from yet. Go get the song if you know how to do that, and download it. Play it. Listen intently. Then I want you to critique the tune on a 6 point scale for lyrics, melody, composition, originality, and overall point of view. One for hate, six for love. Half points are allowed in the overall category. And then I want you to free associate 5-10 words of what the song makes you think of, just off the top of your head. Then come read the rest of this.
JUST KIDDING! While the above exercise is something my friend the The Chauffeur likes to do while killing work hours, I just want you to listen to something cool and different. This week, the Monkey Cage (my cube at work) is still stuck on one of last year's indie darlings. Asobi Seksu. Go check out their song Thursday. It's a beauty. I can't get over how the song is composed with constant tension between the pleading voice of the singer and the ever building tempo of the guitar/bass line. Just when you expect a release into pop bliss at the end of the chorus, they break into silent pause. Tension reestablished. It's fairly simple, accessible pop-rock with a touch of that "wall of noise" towards the end that makes me think they doth know exactly what they're doing. And it never hurts to listen to a half-japanese chick sing all high pitched and sexy.
I'm not sure if Asobi Seksu has what it takes to break out of the blogosphere and slay the mainstream. It doesn't have much appeal to most dudes - I know what that says about me, we all know Chimpy is 49% gay, OKKKKKK? - and I think it's only going to appeal to people old enough to remember Belinda Carlisle and other rockin' 80's chickpop. I really hope they don't go the route other NYC bands have gone...get Rick Ocasek to produce your next album and try to dull yourself onto the radio waves. No offense Mr. Ocasek, but you were truly on your game when Mutt Lange was producing you. But that's for another day and another post...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Such a waste!
Lookie Lookie, the Coast Guard went and did some good.
Chimpy don't want to sound too preachy here, but some extremely poor people worked REALLY hard to make those goodies. They spent all winter (fall? spring? It's hard to know seasons in the tropics) tending their plots, watering and cultivating their plants, and harvesting. Mr. Escobar, he paid them a fair wage. And then the Big Bad U.S. Coast Guard comes in and POOF! All the hard work gone! Do you think it would really improve Mr. and Mrs. Bolivian Farmer's lives if I were to send them this story and say, "Look! Your work, eez all gone. We burn it. Sorry amigo!". Is this social justice? Me thinks not.
And yes, I know there's a whole host of social issues involved in "the trade", but lets just be pragmatic about the situation, ok? You can't fight capitalism, and demand is solid. Perhaps there are reasons to eradicate - not great reasons from a viewpoint of the locals. I think I've said enough here, we're getting way too muckity liberal on you, fair reader. Must be the California upbringing. Let's just be happy the farmers have their own weapons. Go farmers! I know this guy is going to be so so happy when I see him out and about in Chelsea this weekend for you and your farmerly goods.
(On a side note, Goddamnnnnn, I am so energetic today! Euphoric even! It's almost like I took a miracle drug!)
Chimpy don't want to sound too preachy here, but some extremely poor people worked REALLY hard to make those goodies. They spent all winter (fall? spring? It's hard to know seasons in the tropics) tending their plots, watering and cultivating their plants, and harvesting. Mr. Escobar, he paid them a fair wage. And then the Big Bad U.S. Coast Guard comes in and POOF! All the hard work gone! Do you think it would really improve Mr. and Mrs. Bolivian Farmer's lives if I were to send them this story and say, "Look! Your work, eez all gone. We burn it. Sorry amigo!". Is this social justice? Me thinks not.
And yes, I know there's a whole host of social issues involved in "the trade", but lets just be pragmatic about the situation, ok? You can't fight capitalism, and demand is solid. Perhaps there are reasons to eradicate - not great reasons from a viewpoint of the locals. I think I've said enough here, we're getting way too muckity liberal on you, fair reader. Must be the California upbringing. Let's just be happy the farmers have their own weapons. Go farmers! I know this guy is going to be so so happy when I see him out and about in Chelsea this weekend for you and your farmerly goods.
(On a side note, Goddamnnnnn, I am so energetic today! Euphoric even! It's almost like I took a miracle drug!)
Monday, April 23, 2007
Let the good times roll
So I have been an active blog reader for about 2 years now. I've read the good (www.jasonmulgrew.com), the bad (www.huffingtonpost.com), and the ugly (www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com) . I know, I know - late to the phenomenon. I'm not exactly an early adapter. I like to let all the tech dorks spend their hard earned cash on $500 gadgets that, if successful, will cost $200 down the line. Or more like $50. For reals, I actually bought my first VCR in 2000. I told my brother about how excited I was to have a VCR finally, and he said, "Welcome to the 80's, monkey boy".
Why then must I start something like a blog that at this point is so overdone, so cliche, so, I don't know, 2005? Simply put - Chimpy See, Chimpy Do. It's just too tempting; I don't like being OUT OF THE GAME, as they say. The nature of this beast shall be to observe all of you, and myself, and fling it all online and see what sticks. Too (two?) many metaphors there? I guess I'll have to be my own police. The metaphor, it beckons like a cheap harlot at last call in the LES. You want to use her, it's really convenient and you don't have anything better going on. But Madame Metaphor will just leave you empty and lonely. And it might feel like razorblades are coming out when you piss a few days later. So leave the damn metaphors to one per sentence Chimpy!
To keep things fabulously funny, and non-litigious, we'll be using Fake Names in this here blog. Those of you that know me well will be able to see the thinly veiled references, but for the broader audience this blog is sure to attract (by the dozen? by the one?), there will be no knowledge of person referenced. For instance, I am your author, Chimpy. Or Monkey Boy. Or Bonzo. You get the point. My significant other - for there is a second chimp on this davenport - shall be The Girl. Or Beasty McWifey. Or Lil'Cleatis. Ok, not Lil'Cleatis, that's total nonsense. Some other regular characters will be introduced, I'll try to keep their names the same or similar. I like to call them friends, they probably call me the guy that won't stop calling and knows 13 ways to break into their apartments. Semantics.
Mostly though, I am coming after you. That's right, pay attention Douchey McFratboy and Giggles Likesdouches, you Manhattanites are all fair game. Hell, if I venture on the L or F or the Path to a far-flung suburb, I'm coming after you too! It's open season on people that don't get it. Hell hath no fury like a married, smug guy that's mostly bored with his job and is looking to kill thirty odd years until they give him a gold watch and a vacation package for 2 to Palm Beach. Chimpy is watching, and Chimpy is drinking, and then Chimpy is flinging it all for the amusement of self and friends on this here site. Let the games begin.
I'll also ponder some music, some baseball, some college basketball, and maybe the meaning of God and Self sometimes. Keep it light. And if you somehow spot yourself and your inane antics on this site, be glad...you just got your 15 minutes of crappy blog fame.
Why then must I start something like a blog that at this point is so overdone, so cliche, so, I don't know, 2005? Simply put - Chimpy See, Chimpy Do. It's just too tempting; I don't like being OUT OF THE GAME, as they say. The nature of this beast shall be to observe all of you, and myself, and fling it all online and see what sticks. Too (two?) many metaphors there? I guess I'll have to be my own police. The metaphor, it beckons like a cheap harlot at last call in the LES. You want to use her, it's really convenient and you don't have anything better going on. But Madame Metaphor will just leave you empty and lonely. And it might feel like razorblades are coming out when you piss a few days later. So leave the damn metaphors to one per sentence Chimpy!
To keep things fabulously funny, and non-litigious, we'll be using Fake Names in this here blog. Those of you that know me well will be able to see the thinly veiled references, but for the broader audience this blog is sure to attract (by the dozen? by the one?), there will be no knowledge of person referenced. For instance, I am your author, Chimpy. Or Monkey Boy. Or Bonzo. You get the point. My significant other - for there is a second chimp on this davenport - shall be The Girl. Or Beasty McWifey. Or Lil'Cleatis. Ok, not Lil'Cleatis, that's total nonsense. Some other regular characters will be introduced, I'll try to keep their names the same or similar. I like to call them friends, they probably call me the guy that won't stop calling and knows 13 ways to break into their apartments. Semantics.
Mostly though, I am coming after you. That's right, pay attention Douchey McFratboy and Giggles Likesdouches, you Manhattanites are all fair game. Hell, if I venture on the L or F or the Path to a far-flung suburb, I'm coming after you too! It's open season on people that don't get it. Hell hath no fury like a married, smug guy that's mostly bored with his job and is looking to kill thirty odd years until they give him a gold watch and a vacation package for 2 to Palm Beach. Chimpy is watching, and Chimpy is drinking, and then Chimpy is flinging it all for the amusement of self and friends on this here site. Let the games begin.
I'll also ponder some music, some baseball, some college basketball, and maybe the meaning of God and Self sometimes. Keep it light. And if you somehow spot yourself and your inane antics on this site, be glad...you just got your 15 minutes of crappy blog fame.
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